When an organisation is struggling, advisors often encourage the leaders to refocus on the “core business“. Nobody benefits from spreading their resources too thin, from trying to achieve too many goals at once. Every company that wishes to be effective should take time out to consider what their most important product is; what they are uniquely positioned to offer to the market; what they do best.

Jesus makes it 100% clear what the “core business” of the church is – L.O.V.E. Before his death, he spelled it out plainly; “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35)

Alan Knox has just written an excellent series of blog posts about “the love problem“. He begins by saying; “Jesus said all people would know us by our love. But, when you ask people what they think about Christians, love is far, far down the list… if it even makes the list. We have a love problem.”

In Alan’s latest post, “So, why does the church have a love problem?“, he goes on to point out that we should see God’s people demonstrating more and more love, the longer they go to church, if they are truly growing in spiritual maturity. Instead, we often find new converts are often more loving than those who have called themselves ‘Christians’ for many years. This may not always be the case, but it happens more than it should.

Alan puts his finger on one of the root causes of why the Christian church is not seen by the world as a beacon of love – the system we are using isn’t achieving our central goal of true maturity. He writes; “The “love problem” is a result of lack of maturity in Christ. I think this lack of maturity affects our love (and our demonstration of love) primarily because love cannot be taught through speeches, sermons, books, articles, seminars, conferences, and, yes, even blog posts.”

If the “core business” of the church is love, we’re not going to get there through neatly packaged sermons, books and conferences (or blog posts, as Alan has remarked). We need to be engaged in deep relationships, in living life face-to-face and side-by-side. We need to be able to observe one another demonstrating love, to actively give and receive love, to talk less about love and experience love more. As we put love into practice, we work our spiritual “love muscles” and build up strength and endurance.

Do sermons help people love one another better? Is group singing an effective way to build deep relationships? It would be easy to think churches are all about education and inspiration, not the messy business of loving one another. Perhaps it’s time for church leaders to do an organisational review and check whether they are focusing on the “core business” of love.

We were designed for community. We thrive when we find it. We crave a sense of belonging; a deep connection with other humans. The world doesn’t have many options of functional community to meet our needs. Facebook is as good as it gets for many people.

God created church to be the most functional form of community ever seen. Church is supposed to be the place where we love God by loving one another. God designed the church to operate as a body, connected and working together, with each part having a special place. He invites us to live side by side as a family, meeting each other’s needs through the seasons of life. If we are going to tap into the full potential for the church to shine in the darkness of this disconnected, dysfunctional world, we need to start meeting face-to-face, engaging in a two-way conversation, growing in strong relationships with each other and accepting one another as Jesus accepted each of us.

We need to start connecting with one another.

Grace has been going to a new church for nearly three years now. It seems silly to call it her “new church” when she’s been going there for so long, but she still feels like a newcomer, like an outsider. If you knew Grace, you’d realize that’s quite strange, because she’s one of the most social, relational people you’ll ever meet. In any other social setting, she’s the life of the party, makes friends easily and builds relationships quickly. Grace loves the new church. The music is good, the teaching is great, and many of the people are exactly the sort she would like to connect with deeply and have strong relationships with. She has a small group of friends she already knows well from outside of church, and most weeks she ends up chatting to them over morning tea at the end of the service. But she’s frustrated that it is taking her so long to truly connect with the other people in the church, who could have such an impact in her life and be part of her journey growing in God. With two small kids and many other commitments in her busy life, she can’t make it to other church events such as small groups, lunches, camps and other meetings. She’d really like Sunday mornings to be more relational, to have the chance to go deep with people and get to know them better.

Grace wants to feel connected.

____________________________

 Josh struggles to concentrate through the Sunday morning service each week. He tries to listen, but he finds his mind wandering during the sermon. Like most people his age, he’s completely at ease behind a keyboard and an active user of social media, but he finds it hard to get anything out of a one-way lecture. He’s used to being a part of the conversation, not a passive listener. Outside of church, he usually gets to participate in the discussion and contribute his own opinions, even if it’s just by pressing “Like” on his Facebook page. At home, he gets to control what footage he wants to view, what music he wants to listen to, and what topics he wants to talk about. He is an active contributor to the online community, writing a regular blog and developing a strong following on Twitter. He doesn’t own a television set, and doesn’t need to, preferring to direct his own viewing and learning experience online and in collaboration with his social networks. In church, he finds that his voice isn’t welcome or invited, and that he is treated as a member of an audience, not as a person who may have something to contribute. He wants to be there, but he gets bored when he doesn’t get the opportunity to participate.

Josh wants to feel engaged.

____________________________

Michael is in his fifties, and became a Christian when he was 20. He’s been actively involved in church for well over 30 years, and has a deep love for God and his people. He is a highly intelligent man, a deep thinker, with lots of energy and lots to give. He recently approached his pastor to discuss his frustration with the church format. He said he didn’t feel comfortable anymore being told when to sit, when to stand, what to sing, what to think, and when to leave. He was told he needed to submit to God-given authority and change his attitude. He didn’t try to bring the topic up again.

Michael wants to be empowered.

____________________________

Grace, Josh and Michael are attending good churches. Great churches, even. Churches filled with wonderful people, solid teaching, uplifting worship services. The problem is, those churches are meeting the wrong needs. They are using a model which assumes God’s people need a weekly ritual of inspirational music and pep-talks. Until churches creatively rethink the format, they won’t be able to meet people’s deep needs for connection, engagement and empowerment.

Nearly all the pastors I have ever met are wonderful people. Gifted and intelligent communicators with strong people-skills; committed to living out God’s calling through all the ups and downs; dedicating their lives to understanding God’s message and sharing it with the world around them. Noble, exciting men and women with a sense of purpose and vision. I love them and am inspired by them.

And yet, I am increasingly convinced that the sit-sing-sermon model of church has had its day, and needs to give way to something new – something interactive, and engaging, and empowering, where God’s people are invited to contribute and participate. But where does this leave all the pastors, with their many years of training; with their finely honed preaching skills; with their ability and talents for performance?

The truth is, churches are going to need leadership as much as ever if they move from performance to empowerment – but the leadership will be less about performance and more about facilitation. Many pastors have the right temperament, wisdom, and communication skills to make excellent facilitators, but they have to turn their thinking upside down to get there.

Preaching involves talking – facilitation is about listening.

Preaching has all the right answers – facilitators ask the right questions.

Preachers take all the credit – facilitators give all the credit.

Preachers hold on to authority – facilitators hand over authority.

Preachers have a voice – facilitators give others a voice.

Excellent facilitators do less than 30% of the talking, and get others to do the 70%. They risk letting others interpret God’s Word and listen to God’s Spirit instead of doing it all themselves. They give others credit for their ideas and insights, without boasting of their own. They hand over most of the power, control and status, rather than holding onto it.

Not everyone can be a good facilitator. It takes skill and faith, confidence and humility, maturity and vulnerability. These are traits many pastors and “lay-people” already have. My husband and I are currently developing a course called “Foundations in Facilitation”, to help leaders “empower everyone through dialogue, discovery learning and direct access.” Our prayer is that pastors will stop performing for God’s people, and start empowering them. Less personal reward, greater kingdom impact.